14 March 2018

You and Abby Jones had a special day with Papa while me and Iddy went to the movies in Mombasa.

Showing off your Elsa dresses for Katja

You got a hold of my phone...

Papa is so patient when helping you with homework.

Oh the sweet love of sisters

You are a scientist like your mama!

Nora came to see your science fair, and that made you so happy.

Elephant toothpaste (you kept calling it elephant tooth past)

You and Maila pretending to sell jewelry

Ruth Michael, here are a couple of stories about you from Auntie Jen... she loves you very much!




This first one happened in February of 2018 when Anyango was visiting her rural home. It was super special to me because i do realize that not everyone can look at my situation with anyango and see or accept me as "her mother." We are only 13 years apart and of 2 different races. I'm not sure if adults struggle with it as much as I feel they do... or if it is my own insecurity that tells me they do...but i know that CHILDREN who are growing up in a smaller version of the world than RM is, would DEFINITELY struggle to understand it. They might even question how anyango could possibly be my daughter in a way that would be innocent by nature, but come off as disrespectful. Yet somehow at the age of 5, RM knows how to articulate herself in the most intentional way; allowing herself to explore the questions she has, but understanding how to balance her curiosity with an understanding that her words carry weight. She holds people's feelings very gently in her hands, and while this may seem like a really small, insignificant example of that, it meant the world to me. She was curious about how something could be, but she also validated it at the same time. She acknowledged that i am a mom, even though there is a part of it that didnt make sense to her. So she simply asked...
RM: Jen, do you have a mom?
J: I do! She lives in America. Why?
RM: I sometimes forget that when people are moms, they can still have their own moms. And you're a mom now.
J: That's right! I am a mom, but I also have a mom of my own. Just like Mimimo is your mom's mom.
RM: Yeah. But can i ask you a question?
J: Of course you can!
RM: You are Anyango's mom, right? Anyango is your child?
J: Yes, that's right.
RM: But if she is a child then why is she taller than you???
I went on to explain to her how God created each of us in His own image... including our size! This conversation really touched my heart.
The next convo is from March 2018, the night before i left for a trip to the States. I found out that i needed to leave a whole day earlier than i thought, and i was feeling a little bit flustered by that. When i went up to say goodnight and goodbye to the girls, AJ was upset because they didnt get to read books that night. AJ was crying, snuggled up to RM and RM had her arm around her. She was looking at her with such empathy in her eyes...but you could also tell she was trying to "be the big sister" and put her own feelings about missing books aside to comfort AJ. It was very clear in that moment that she cared more about AJ's tears than the books. I sat and rubbed AJ's back for a second, then i asked if i can get a goodbye hug and kiss real quick, to carry with me when i travel. AJ stayed with her face down and her back turned to me, still crying. When I tried to get my hugs and kisses again, RM very sweetly said to me, "Im sorry, Jen, but i dont think this is gonna work tonight." Classic RM...protecting her sister and expressive beyond her years!



I love to hear stories about you from another person's perspective, and I want you to know these stories, too. It's not just your mom who thinks you're special... it's everyone around you! You are so loved. I also loved what your teachers had to say about you at parents' day. Papa went to talk to your teacher while I was in a meeting with Iddy. He told me later what your teacher had said about you. She said that you like to follow the rules, and you like for other people to follow the rules. You also like for everything to be in its place and you are always picking up and making sure things look nice. You don't like chaos or noise. Sometimes, to quiet the class down, the teacher will say, "please be quiet, everyone, you are disturbing Ruth Michael!" I have been thinking about how important it is for you to hear encouragement from your mother everyday, so in the morning when I drop you off at school I always tell you, "you are kind, you are smart, you are important." I believe that with all my heart, and I pray to God that you will always believe that, too!

9 March 2018

We had a mommy/daughter date at Mario's after school.

I bought you a chocolate phone and you had a whole conversation on it.

You watched the volcano experiment at the science fair.

Chocolate face after chocolate ice cream.

You are in mouse class at school.

Abby Jones, you are a barrel of fun. You have these adorable ringlet curls all around your head, and in the heat and humidity they are even more defined. You like to laugh and make other people laugh. Sometimes you just stick out your booty at me and point at it because you know it will make me laugh. You call the national anthem "antional anthem." You call Daniel Tiger's Neighborhood "Neighbor Tigerhood." Your teachers say that you are a good girl, and that you express yourself very well. One time they wrote in your diary ("diarrhea") that you are not afraid to express yourself in front of the class. You and I are buddies. You have turned a corner with your swimming! You are a fish. You love to jump in off the side and "swim to mama." You are still petite but you can run fast and keep up with the big girls. You still say, "I'm shy of Anyango."

I'm not gonna lie, you give me a run for my money. You love to think of everything you know you can't do and ask me to do it. "Can I have soda for breakfast? Can I have sweet for breakfast? Can I wear long sleeves to school? Can I wear Kikal's dress? Can I use the glue stick?" etc, etc. I have told you not to use the glue stick because you went through two of our glue sticks just by scribbling the glue all over random paper. One day, Papa had told you you couldn't have anything to eat, so you came and asked me for something to eat. I didn't know what Papa had said so I told you you could have a cracker. You got the cracker and went and ate it right in front of Papa's face. You are full of spunk, and I love you so very much.

I pick you up from school at 12 every day and we have lunch together, many days just the two of us. Then we read books and nap together. You love the mouse book and the book about the tree with the flashlight. When I hug you at night, you squeeze me tight because you don't want me to go. I treasure these precious squeezes deep in my heart. You are starting to draw more and scribble less. You can draw a sun!

8 March 2018

You and I read together every night... I really love that.

You and Papa are so close, and AJ adores you.

You are a trooper on our long international journeys. These are not for the faint of heart!

You love your cousins so much.

I love this picture of you and I. You can't know how much I love you.

Your Aunt Amanda ADORES you, and you love her, too!

You and Daisy are good buddies.

You really enjoyed finally get to meet your Uncle Levi this past Christmas.

Iddy, I always enjoy going to parent/teacher conferences for you because they always have such nice things to say about you. That makes me very proud. It seems like you are very respectful in school, hardworking, and just enjoyable. We never hear anything else from any of your teachers. I know that you don't enjoy school very much, and neither did I at your age, but you are doing such a good job navigating the academic, social, and emotional challenges that come with growing up. You are struggling a little in math, but the teacher thinks it is only because of what you missed when we were in the US for those three months. He feels like once you have caught up on those concepts, you will be a very strong math student. You have been working very hard to catch up on the things you have missed. You and Papa play basketball together almost every day after school. You are very athletic and coordinated. You don't love video games and phones and tablets all the time. You like to be outside... you like to be with your family... you love to listen to music. The other day you said that you realized that the kind of music you listened to really affected your mood, and you were going to try to start listening to really good music. I was really proud of you for having that wisdom. Over your midterm break you spent some time with your family in Kisumu and with Israel. They all seem to love you and look up to you so much. Sometimes I wonder if it feels like a lot of pressure to you to have people looking up to you in that way, but you handle it very well. You are very generous, quick to give what you have to others, and you are concerned about the well-being of others. This morning Anyango wasn't waiting for Papa to take her to school so you and Papa went to check on her. You hate to be late, but you were more concerned about making sure she was okay. You kiss your sisters every night and tell them you love them. They have no idea how lucky they are to have you as a brother!